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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571118">The Darker Side Of Me!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexy_angelz92/pseuds/bexy_angelz92'>bexy_angelz92</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Darker Side Of Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:55:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26571118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexy_angelz92/pseuds/bexy_angelz92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexis (Lexi) Lowther defined herself as goth. Maybe it was because she felt like she was drifting from clique to clique, never seeming to find her place. Maybe it was because she felt no connection to her parents. When they springs the idea of moving to London Lexi isn't particularly bothered. A fresh start could be exactly what she needs.</p><p>Skye Rivera has always felt like he was drowning in thoughts, the idea that he doesn't deserve to be loved plaguing his mind. When Skye encounters Lexi, he sees the sadness behind Lexi's eyes because it reflects the sadness behind his own. He feels obligated to befriend Lexi, but the baggage of his dark past can only hinder their relationship. He swears he won't fall in love, but Lexi sees falling in love with Skye as inevitable.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Darker Side Of Me!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 1 - New beginnings...</p><p>It was another bitter cold autumn morning when I woke, way too early to be awake. I didn't wake up naturally, to the lovely sound of birds tweeting in their nest's... nope... but to the sound of my mother's infernal screeching through my ears. She was just droning on and on and on, like a rusty old robot from a sci-fi movie. Oh GOD, it was easily the most agonising sound a teenaged girl ever heard. Moan, moan, moan for what seemed like forever. I just ignored her. I was far too tired to be up due the late night I had. Of course mum didn't know that I snuck out. I needed fresh air so went for a walk, on my own (as usual). So clearly I wanted to be left wrapped up in bed.</p><p>I supposed mum did have a pretty good reason to be yelling at me so early on a morning - it was the first day of the new school year and a new school altogether. I was already dreading it! New school, same old me. It was great being me... except for the fact that l no-one understood me. I'd never kept a friend. Ever! Because I was the strange 'emo' loner. The fact that I liked black didn't instantly scream 'emo'. People at my old school used to think I sat by myself all day slitting my wrists. Well, they could fuck off, they knew nothing. </p><p>I never had a boyfriend unlike all the sluts I left behind in Leeds - they probably all had chlamydia or something by now. Who needed a boyfriend anyway? Lads were nothing but trouble. I supposed they were good for getting 'down and dirty' with, although there was nothing a good vibrator couldn't do. Or fingers for those who couldn't afford it. I chuckled inside my head at the thought. </p><p>Yep, I was a Northern lass born and bred! Or a 'Northern Monkey' as the good people of olde London town called us. What a bunch of cunts! </p><p>What I wouldn't give to move back to Leeds again, at least there was a 'northern pride' there. My parents moved us to London for mums new job opportunity. She was a barrister and was offered a job in London's Crown Prosecution Service or CPS for those who couldn't be bothered. So... there we were!</p><p>Just as I was in mid-thought, I was blinded by a treacherous beam of blazing sunlight. My eyes were shut but I still had to close them tightly to block out the invading light. Obviously mum was getting increasingly impatient with me as she was screaming louder than ever. I was still ignoring her. I put my quilt over my eyes to shield them from the pain of early morning sun. I liked being beneath the sheets, the whole world seemed to be so far away. Sometimes I felt it was the only place that made sense to me. A place where I could be myself and nobody cared.</p><p>Of course, staying in bed wasn't an option for me with my mother on a rampage. I thought winter had come early due to a sudden coldness that ran wildly through my body. The fucking bitch stole my quilt! At that point I did get up, I squirmed on my bed and flung myself bolt upright. </p><p>"Fuck sake woman!" I screamed at my mother.</p><p>"This wouldn't happen if you got up on your own accord, Alexis Mae Lowther!" She screamed back, equally as fierce.</p><p>I started aggressively at her for using my full name. She knew it pissed me off, that's why she did it, plus, she was always nagging at me. The one thing you learnt about my mother - if you got her angry she turned into the incredible she-hulk. FACT!</p><p>I still glared at my mother, eyes narrowed.</p><p>"And don't give me that look, you piss me off too." She exclaimed. Huh... I guessed she knew me too well. She carried on moaning, "Why can't you be like your brother and sisters! I don't have to drag THEM out of bed, this is ridiculous. If they can get up, so can you!" </p><p>I rolled my eyes, I hated being compared to younger, yes younger siblings, "they're just freaks" I mumbled beneath my breath. I was so frustrated.</p><p>"What... I didn't hear that Alexis!"</p><p>The response I gave to that highly sarcastic comment was just a sigh. I collapsed onto my back and sank into my bed. I turned over and hugged my pillow so tightly I could barely breathe. I heard mum slap her thigh and swear underneath her breath. I had to admit, it took a lot for my mother to swear. She stormed out of my bedroom, each footstep a tiny earthquake battering against the wooden floor. Well thank fuck for that, I couldn't be arsed with her. And I certainly couldn't be arsed with the school. I just wanted to go back to my dreams and maybe listen to the birds outside.</p><p>As I laid comfortably in my bed I found myself floating off into another dream... or daydream rather (now that I was awake). The tweeting birds brought joy to my heart and peace to my soul. It relaxed me. </p><p>Oh, why couldn't I have just one more day to slack off. I hated school. I knew I'd hate everyone in it too, as I did in the last fucker.</p><p>Oh no, danger. Just when I was deep in thought, I heard my mother on her way back to my bedroom - stamping her feet and acting like the queen of the world... AGAIN! I could hear three massive thuds of her bounding towards me. Without warning, ice cold water seeped through my nightwear and sheet. The shock sent my body falling back to planet Earth. I landed with a thud on the cold wooden floor and my head cracked on the edge of my bedside cabinet. Ouch!</p><p>My mother threw water on me?! What a cow! I was so pissed! I got onto my knees and shouted, "oh my god, I can't believe you just did that, get the fuck outta my bedroom!" </p><p>"Don't you dare talk to me like that young lady," she screamed, pointing her finger and bending over me. I aggressively threw my soaked pillow at my mother but missed her by a thousand miles. Not as I intended. God, I had a terrible aim first thing in the morning! Mum pointed down where I threw my pillow, "And I'm NOT making this bed, I expect this bedroom tidied when you get back from school" she said firmly. </p><p>With that, she turned her back on me and slammed the door shut.</p><p>"Oh fuck off!" I screamed at the closed door. I let out a loud groan and clambered up, onto my drenched bed, from the stone cold floor. I squinted at the invading sunlight seeping through my windows, I eventually lifted my body onto my feet with the aid of the windowsill. Oh my lord, I felt like an old woman. At fifteen!</p><p>The sun shone into my eyes leaving me in a temporary state of blindness. It stung my eyes so bad I had to squint them tightly. When my eyes finally stopped burning, I could focus on the sights outside my bedroom window. I saw the endless garden, an aisle of green down the middle with mum's rose bushes lining both sides and an ancient looking pond at the far corner. Every so often I could see a flicker of luminescence from under the water - the goldfish peeking up to take a glimpse of the world around them. Our dog, Rigby, just loved to bound back and forth, up and down the length of the garden.</p><p>I looked up to the sky, black clouds were taking over the suns breathing space. Every few seconds the sun was hidden by the clouds but it was determined to shine through the little gaps between each one. The sun shone on the garden every now and then, making the green look greener than ever and the roses glimmer, a miniature rainbow of our own. Quite dazzling really. </p><p>I had to admit, the joint effort of my parents was quite amazing - they designed and created this garden in a matter of weeks.</p><p>Huh, I supposed I had to get motivated or whatever. I turned away from the window and peered into my filthy bedroom: clothes scattered the floor; makeup and perfume bottles littered all the surfaces, and old yoghurt pots and crisp packets were shoved into a tight corner. The bed was a state, sheets half hanging off and pillows in the middle, all dripping with ice cold water thanks to my mother. I giggled to myself, she could clean that up later cuz I wasn't. I would refuse to go to bed until she did.</p><p>The only thing that was neat was my home-made shoe rack (made by my daddy) and sitting beside it, my guitars. One acoustic, one electric. The most precious things in my room! The amplifiers and other accessories were piled in a draw at the bottom of my wardrobe.</p><p>Music was my world. </p><p>Across the walls of my bedroom hung posters of various rock bands with the aid of Sellotape, blue tack or pins. There were Deaf Havana, Avenged Sevenfold, Green Day, 30 Seconds to Mars, Fall Out Boy and Halestorm to name a few. I looked towards my stereo, I needed music. There was nothing like a bit of rock and roll to start off the day. But the stereo was at the other end of the room. And the struggle across the bedroom commenced.</p><p>I strode sleepily past my double bed and TV cabinet, carefully avoiding the various objects on the floor. I didn't want to end up on the deck again. After squeezing between my cabinet and bed, I found myself on the home stretch to the stereo, which usually had clothes and bottles of god knows what to avoid on the way there.</p><p>I tiptoed past the mountains of a mess across my floor, eventually reaching the stereo. I reached for the 'on' switch wondering what CD I left in there. I pressed the 'shuffle' button and the air flooded with the sound of Wheatus 'teenage dirtbag'... nice, it was exactly what I needed to start the day! I started to shake my hips to the sound as I rummaged through my drawers to find the tartan skirt for school and grabbed my school shirt, tie and blazer from the wardrobe.</p><p>I slept in a Slipknot t-shirt and knickers so I just threw on my skirt, snagged my hairbrush off the floor and started singing into it, "I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby, listen to Iron Maiden baby with me, ooooh ooo..."</p><p>All of a sudden and heard two large thuds on my door and a booming voice say, "knock knock," it was my dad.</p><p>"Holy shit dad," I gasped, "you scared me into next week!"</p><p>Dad chuckled to himself and held up his hands, "I'm sorry, was I disturbing something?" He smiled at me and vice versa; he was such a loveable giant. </p><p>I say giant because he was 6'4in with layers upon layers of pure muscle. He had long dark hair tied in a ponytail, full bushy beard, and dark eyes. He had an indefinite amount of tattoos up and down his bulging arms and a hoop earring in one ear. To some, he may have looked intimidating but to me, he was just an oversized teddy bear!</p><p>My mother was the complete opposite. She stood at 5'2in with a petite yet curvaceous figure, leaf green eyes and fiery red hair cascading down to her hips. She had porcelain coloured skin with a dusting of tiny freckles across her nose and cheek area. Compare that to my dad's beach-tanned skin coated in tattoos, and dark features! Like I said.... complete opposites, even their personalities were at opposite sides of the spectrum. How on Earth did they get together?</p><p>My dad scanned my bedroom with his mahogany coloured eyes and sighed at me, "you have got to tidy this bedroom up young lady."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and threw myself onto the stool in front of my dresser, "again with the 'young lady', I do have a name!" </p><p>He hovered over me, "sorry baby girl." He took a step toward me and kissed the top of my head, "but could you please tidy this room when u get back from school? Please... for me?"</p><p>I turned to face him with a cheeky smirk across my face, "what's in it for me?"</p><p>Dad just sighed and questioned, "Twenty quid?" </p><p>"Twenty quid?" I chorused with one eyebrow raised. "I was thinking more forty?"</p><p>"Lex you're killing me girl... thirty quid last offer, deal?"</p><p>I grinned with my hand held out, "deal!!" </p><p>He reluctantly opened his wallet, which he received from his back jeans pocket, and handed over the cash. He then replaced the wallet and pointed his finger at me, "don't you tell the others." Meaning my little brother and sisters.</p><p>"Of course not!" I smirked. Huh, I knew how to soften my dad's palms. All I had to do was flutter my eyelashes and he did anything for me. "Oh daddy, please could I have some ciggies too!" I asked sweetly. </p><p>I remembered the day Dad caught me taking drags off the half-smoked fags that he chucked out the back. It was about two years ago but I still memorized how shit scared I was as if it happened yesterday. I even dropped to knees, begging him not to tell mum. But he smiled, gave me a wink and just sat down and chatted to me - he said he didn't blame me from wanting to try and actually gave me a full one! I was so shocked. He promised he'll never tell mum. He said he would just wait for me to let her know, as if I would, she'd murder me. Anyway, from then on I had always nagged dad for some cigs. I was pretty sure he regretted the decision to let me smoke.</p><p>In response to my request, dad shook his head and reached into his other back pocket to receive a cigarette packet and place three into my eagerly awaiting paws, "aww cheers daddy! You're the best!"</p><p>With bulging arms folded across his chest and one eyebrow raised, he announced, "and don't tell your mother!"</p><p>He had a habit of saying that every time he lended me a few, or if he did anything he knew mum wouldn't really like. I supposed it was a sorta catchphrase for him. The thought made me smile internally.</p><p>"Never daddy," I replied in satisfaction. </p><p>That was when my mixtape echoed Metallica 'enter sandman' throughout my bedroom, dad loved this band. He smiled, winked at me and then sat down on my bed to appreciate the music. Only he didn't know my bed was soaked so he sprang straight back up again, "what the fuck?! Jesus! Do I wanna know why your bed is fucking drenched Alexis?!"</p><p>My face turned sour and I twirled on my stool to face the mirror, "try asking your psycho of a wife!" I exclaimed.</p><p>"Please don't talk about your mother like that, Lexi-Loo." He called me Lexi-Loo from time to time, he had nicknames for all of us. He was so sweet.</p><p>I sighed and stared down at my floor when we heard the commotion from downstairs. There was a loud bang, the girls screamed, the dog barked and my mum growled, "CAAAALVIN!"</p><p>"Speaking of the devil," Dad mused while smirking at me, "I better get down there before she has my guts for garters.... aaaand to fix whatever fell." I gave him a weak smile, he winked at me again as he lumbered out of my bedroom door.</p><p>"Good luck," I called after him, he was going to need it when dealing with the ginger-haired bitch he called a wife.</p><p>I gazed into the mirror and saw a simple teenaged girl staring back at me with high(ish) cheekbones and a rounded chin. A mass of black hair fell from the top of my head, with a full fringe and two streaks of dark magenta to the right side - one twice as thick as the other. Dark brown eyes stared endlessly back at me... they needed liner circling them. So I brushed my hair as neat as I could be arsed to do it, put on a bra I received from the drawer in front of me and flung on my shirt and tie. </p><p>Closely focusing in my mirror, I drew thick black liner around my eyes which ended with a flick and brushed three layers of midnight black mascara into my lashes... yep, looking more like myself. I then grasped my school shoes and blazer, turned off the music and slumped out my door.</p><p>I took a slow walk down the stairs because I wanted to keep myself to myself as long as possible, maybe I WAS a loner? </p><p>As I walked down the stairs, I viewed all the pictures my dad nailed up in the precise way my mother wanted them. These pictures made me smile, they were all taken with the family - some with my parents alone, some of my siblings and my grandparents, some with my uncle and cousins, there were thousands of them. My favourite one was of me, at around eight years old, holding my baby brother. I was sporting a huge smile and wearing a navy and white polka-dot dress. I had the same long black hair with the same full fringe, I really haven't changed much, apart from the smile. I mostly showed a frown, my life was so shit!</p><p>When I eventually found my way to the bottom of the stairs, I saw some fallen shelves leaning against the wall. I guessed that was why my mum was shouting - they had some of her favourite ornaments on display. Well... not anymore!</p><p>I noted that my two sisters were in the dining room eating a bowl of cereal each and gossiping about the neighbourhood boys. Ugh... like they'd got nothing better to do. I quickly strode by them so they wouldn't realize I was there. I really didn't wanna be dragged into THAT conversation.</p><p>In the lounge, I spotted Rigby curled up under the radiator, gnawing at his bone while holding it in place with his paws. He acknowledged me by looking at me, ears pricked up before returning to chewing his bone quietly. He was such a good dog, I smiled watching him.</p><p>Dad was playing some Call of Duty (COD) game with his headgear on, but there was no sign of my mum (thank god), or my little brother. </p><p>I quizzed my Dad, "where's mum and Zak?"</p><p>It seemed Dad only just noticed my presence, he spoke into the mic, "hold on mo boys." Then turned to face me, "what was that baby girl?"</p><p>"I SAID... where's mum and Zak?"</p><p>"Oh, right... erm... ya mam took Zak to that breakfast club thing at his school, God knows why he wants to go there," he replied.</p><p>"Hmm... God knows," I chorused as Dad put his mic back over his head. God knows indeed, I wouldn't get caught dead in school early, I hardly liked being there on time.</p><p>From the dining room my sister, Leanne, bounded into the lounge and stood beside me. She was already dressed neatly in all her school uniform, including shoes and her blazer. She took one look at me and sighed, "Dad, have you seen what she's wearing... it's soooo inappropriate for school."</p><p>I gave her a dirty look, "you're a fucking grass!"</p><p>"Oh my god, and what HAVE you got on your face?" She teased, she couldn't keep back the amused look in her eyes as she said that. God, she knew how to push my buttons!</p><p>I ignored her and tried not to show it in my face that the comment pissed me off. But it was hard, really hard. Especially when she carried on with the insults, "are you really going to the FIRST day of school with your hair like that?"</p><p>"Fuck off bitch!" I screamed in her face. I had enough! I rammed her into the wall, she held out her arms for protection. Maybe I had a short fuse but it annoyed me how she always commented on my looks. I mean I was insecure enough about without her rubbing it in.</p><p>From out of nowhere, Leanne struck back! She pushed me into the sofa so hard I had to lean over it and hold out my own arms, banging my knee in the process. "You fuck off!" Lee's voice shouted.</p><p>I twisted around and lurched forward, "stupid little cow, I...."</p><p>All of a sudden, Dad appeared in between us, stopping the fight before it escalated. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!" He cleared his throat, "that is enough girls! Alexis your sister is right, that skirt is not appropriate for ANYTHING, never mind school. What happened to your school skirt?"</p><p>"Erm... this IS my school skirt."</p><p>"What the fuck happened to 'em?"</p><p>"Huh... I made it so they were more to my taste," I smirked. Yeah, I couldn't stand how long the skirts were, they made me feel like I was a granny, to be honest. So I did what all lasses like me would do... I cut them. No biggie! Didn't give a fuck what stupid school thought. </p><p>"Are you fucking kidding me?! Do you realise how much those things cost Alexis!" Dad sighed more to himself than me. He covered his face with his palms for a few seconds, seemingly gathering his composure before he spoke, "go put some trousers on, or at least some tights. Your mother will fucking slaughter me if I let you go out like that," he pivoted to Leanne, "and you, stop teasing your sister!"</p><p>"Ok daddy," Leanne said, waaay too sweetly. She pranced towards Rigby who was looking very nervous at us. She gave him a little stroke on the head and he licked her hand. Then she perched on the end of the sofa, her gaze fixed on me. </p><p>"Now behave... BOTH of you" Dad firmly said, glaring at each of us in turn. He made his way into the kitchen, leaving his game playing and 'his boys' yelling through the headgear which was flung on the hard laminate floor.</p><p>Leanne kept her gaze on me... so unnerving. My little sister admittedly looked a lot like me with similar facial features such as the cheekbone and chin area. She also had jet black hair although she had a heavy fringe swept to one side and usually, like today, had a little red, clip-on bow attached to the same side. However, Leanne's eyes were a hazel colour. It seemed she had a mixture of both our parents' eye colour, which was quite amazing really.</p><p>Across the room, I saw what looked to be a pair of patterned tights hanging from the clotheshorse. Hmm... Dad said tights, he didn't say what kind I should wear. I made toward the far end of the room but I could sense Leanne's eyes on me, I had enough of her. I turned and snapped, "Stop looking at me!"</p><p>"GIRL'S... WHAT HAVE I JUST SAID?!" Dad's voice boomed from the kitchen.</p><p>"But dad..." I complained but he didn't listen.</p><p>"BEHAVE!"</p><p>Satisfied, Leanne shot a devilish smile at me, jumped back in her seat and started to lark on her mobile which she retrieved from her bra. What an arsehole! I stuck up my middle finger at her although she had her back turned away, she only would have grassed anyway. She had to be the most difficult thirteen year old in history.</p><p>As I reached my destination, I realized Dad's overalls were hanging from the clotheshorse as well, my tights must've been dry since Dad needed his overalls for work. I felt them... yes, dry! At least one good thing had happened that morning. I scrambled to pull my tights up while holding onto the sofa for balance. I had only just slipped on my shoes when my youngest sister, twelve-year-old Emilia, skipped in holding a plate of toast and a glass of orange juice. </p><p>Emilia smiled at me, "morning Lexi." She handed me the plate, "Daddy says eat this..." then she gave me the drink, "... and drink this, we'll be setting off soon." </p><p>I took a large mouthful of the orange juice and sank my teeth into the warm, buttery toast before sitting down to enjoy it.</p><p>Mia is such a sweet girl and a miniature version of mum. Bright red hair in a French plait that fell to the middle of her back - you would have thought mum tied her hair before she drove Zak to breakfast club. But dad was a surprising expert (I supposed it came with having three daughters). Emilia had the same leaf green colour eyes as Mum, the same porcelain shade to her skin, and the same shaped face to her as mum. She was literally a mini-me of our mother. </p><p>Mia was still smiling at me so I returned it and gave her a wink. She then happily skipped off to the back door, "Rigby! Garden," she called as she slapped her leg to get the dog's attention. When she opened the door, the Alsatian barked in excitement and sprang towards her, "good boy," I heard Emilia say, then the door slammed shut, both her and Rigby outdoors. </p><p>I continued to eat my breakfast while Leanne continued to play on her phone. I remembered I needed to retrieve mine from my bedroom before we set off to school, I looked at the clock on the fireplace. It was about eight seventeen, I had enough time to run upstairs to get the mobile. We didn't need to be in the school building until quarter to, and with Dad driving us, we were bound to get there in time.</p><p>***</p><p>Author's Notes</p><p>Hello and cheers for reading the first chapter of my first novel, I hope you liked it and don't be afraid to add critique if you like.</p><p>This chapter was inspired by my own life (I was bad at getting up for school too🤣)</p><p> </p><p>What do you think of the characters so far? Who is your favourite?</p>
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